im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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