It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
It's just like the Real World with babies
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
