Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
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