I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
