I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
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