i need an iv and a liver transplant
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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