he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Sext me about skeletons
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize
