I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Randomize
