You're completely useless in the revolution.
Don't make out with my wife yet
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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