lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
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