Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Randomize
