Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
