All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
