You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
