census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
