please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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