dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
