If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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