Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
