she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
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