just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
