these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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