Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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