just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
why do cheetos always look like penises
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Randomize
