I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
