Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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