are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
