I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
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