Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
