Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
