ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
