Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
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