He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
