i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize