He asked to "fluff my boner.."
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize
