am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Randomize
