Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
