It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
