this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
