I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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