i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
