His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
