I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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