i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
