i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
