Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
