I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
me + whiskey = a bad person
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize