booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
