Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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