____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Randomize
