ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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