separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
