So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize
