Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
