i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
The beer is more important than you right now.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
