So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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