I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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