No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Randomize
