I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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